Professors Fail Kihei Clark in All Classes After March Madness Performance
Patrick Henry - March 22, 2023 - academics
After a disappointing March Madness performance, Kihei Clark returned to UVA expecting to at least be able to enjoy his final months at the institution. However, a check of Collab quickly revealed that all of his professors had failed him mere minutes after the loss to Furman.
“Is it fair? No. Is it right? I think the student body would say yes.” Explained Professor Dayton, who teaches ENGL 1213 (Analyzing Picture Books), a required class for all student athletes. “As a faithful believer of student governance, my whim is the students will. When you really think about it I didn’t have any other choice.”
We reached out to Kihei’s agent for comment on the situation, who informed us that Kihei didn’t call a timeout because he “hasn’t been put in timeout since he was 14 and doesn’t plan on breaking that track record anytime soon.”