The Shot Heard 'Round Grounds; Biker Tarred and Feathered by Engineers on E-Way
Patrick Henry - April 11, 2023 - cville
At exactly 1:48 pm today, Quinn, a second year, was knocked off his bike by a mob of angry Engineer Students on E-Way. The mob carried him in front of Thornton Hall where he was promptly tarred and feathered, sparking the beginning of what some are calling the Engineers Revolution.
“I’m glad to see our students taking such initiative”, said Professor Morris, a professor in the E-school who is believed to be an underground ringleader of this movement. “I can see how biking down E-Way would be fun, if you like that sort of thing, but there is simply no room for such behavior in our sacred school. I’m not going to chase this rabbit, but let’s be honest, this has been a long time coming.”
No one is sure just when the Engineers plan to strike next, but experts from the College Resistance are speculating that English Majors and Lawn Residents could be the next targets.