Statistics Major 95% Confident He Will Not Find Love
William Grayson - August 31, 2023 - academics
Eric, a third year statistics major, finished a longitudinal case study on himself and is now 95% confident that he will never find love or any significant human connection in this life.
“Yeah, I struggled to find evidence to support the null hypothesis that someone will love me someday. Today, my p-value finally dropped below 0.05,” Eric said.
Eric’s sad conclusion came despite frequent social interaction. He is the vice president of the Stat/Econ Majors Who Didn’t Get Into McIntire Club, a prominent CIO on grounds. Professor Ross, asked to comment on the situation, said that this is a “common issue” for stat majors and that most fail to find a “statistically significant other” in their lives.