Cavaliers Defeat The Hokies of Texas
Patrick Henry - December 1, 2023 - sports
The UVA men's cavalier basketball team, in their quest to destroy all global elements of the extreme Hokieism ideology, made substantial gains Wednesday at John Paul Jones Arena with the 59-47 defeat of Texas A&M, widely considered by our intern Derek as "the Hokies of Texas."
Derek’s ‘scientific theory,’ which pundits have termed as ‘super valid,’ claims that Virginia Tech and Texas A&M are a part of the same international cabal of Hokieism. “In both schools, maroon is the main color, both have a Corps of Cadets, are in the middle of nowhere, and have a student body. How can you not see this!" Derek continued with his rant as the editors made nachos.
It should be noted that Derek's impartiality is being questioned by the Bad News Hoos editors for his continued use of the phrase "Hook 'em!," love of cowboy boots, and his favorite color being described as “burnt orange.”