AFC Squat Rack Wait Time Surpasses Three Hours
A recent report published by the AFC has shown that wait times …
UVA Now Officially A Swim & Dive School After Latest Basketball Loss
After a disappointing loss against Wake Forest dropped the Cavaliers men’s basketball …
Corrupt College Football Playoff Once Again Excludes UVA From NCAA Championship
The corrupt NCAA football playoff committee decided for the 10th straight season …
Cavaliers Defeat The Hokies of Texas
The UVA men's cavalier basketball team, in their quest to destroy all global elements of the extreme Hokieism ideology, made …
Virginia Shuts Out Tech 3-0 in Massive Volleyball Win (No Others Sports Played Today)
Virginia, who definitely has never lost to Virginia Tech in any sports, continued their winning ways today with a massive …
Virginia Football Beats Ranked UNC Team on the Road (This is not a joke)
Virginia football won their second consecutive game! They won on the road against UNC, who were ranked #10 in the …
HEARTBREAK: Taylor Swift Leaves Travis Kelce for Anthony Colandrea
After being spotted with Travis Kelce Sunday, Taylor Swift has reportedly left the stud TE heartbroken in her pursuit of …
Virginity-Loss Rate of First Years in Neon Orange Football Shirts at All Time High
An extensive study recently concluded by the UVA Graduate School of Data Science revealed a shocking discovery this morning: a …
Confession: I Shit My Pants In The CavMan Suit
This morning BNH received an anonymous email from a person who confessed to shitting their pants at the UVA v. …
How Will Lou Bloomfield's Retirement Affect Lebron's Legacy?
Lou Bloomfield is a professor in the physics department. Widely known for his creation Lou’s List, he is a prolific …
Eagles Fans Demolish Old Cabell Hall After Super Bowl Loss
Last night, the Kansas City Chiefs defeated the Philadelphia Eagles 38-35 to win Super Bowl 57. This morning, UVA students …
Ryan Dunn Changes Name to Ryan Dunk After Latest Poster
After yet another crazy alley-oop finish in Virginia’s 67-62 victory over Syracuse, freshman forward Ryan Dunn has legally changed his …
UVA Buys Out Messi from PSG in $450M Acquisition
Early this morning, the @uvamensoccer team acquired PSG superstar Lionel Messi in a $450M buyout. The Argentinian, who is coming …
Scott Stadium Chosen to Host Super Bowl LVII
In a bid to increase attendance during next year’s football season, the UVA athletic department has successfully bid for Super …
Kihei Clark Touches Rim
After 5 years of intense and focused training, Kihei Clark has finally touched the rim in-game. His feat has stirred …
UVA Ranked #3 after Discovering Kihei can Stand on Caffaro's Shoulders
UVA men’s basketball shot to the top of the rankings on Friday after the team finally perfected a never-before-seen strategy: …
Elated Fans Storm Field After Football Team Only Loses by Three Points
Fans rushed the field at Scott Stadium with elation after the Virginia football team managed to only lose by three …
After Third Straight Loss, Coach Says UVA Football Team has "Best Grades in ACC"
After the Virginia football team’s third straight loss, head coach Tony Elliott called attention to the team’s academic excellence in …
Student Athlete Completes All Weekly Homework Assignments
For the first time this year, Gabby, a student athlete, has completed all her weekly homework assignments. “We are all …
After Disappointing Game, Backpacks Confiscated From Entire Starting Offense
After turning the ball over three times and scoring just 16 points against Old Dominion, head coach Tony Elliott confiscated …
Cavalier Marching Band Demands to be Recognized as Athletic Organization
In light of UVA’s recent football performance, and with a performance of their own coming up in a few days, …
UVA Students Receive Refund for Athletics Fee After Football Team Loss
UVA Student Financial Services has released a statement saying all students will receive a refund to their bank accounts equivalent …
First Year Shocks Scott Stadium by Remembering All Words to Good Old Song
Emily, a first year girl, has shocked everyone by remembering all of the words to the Good Old Song on …
UVA Offers Fake ID Giveaway In Attempt to Boost Attendance at Football Season Opener
With the Virginia football team set to kick off their season against Richmond Saturday afternoon, the program has gone all-out …
UVA to Relocate Scott Stadium to Carter's Mountain
UVA Athletics announced early this week that Scott Stadium will be relocating to Carter’s Mountain in an attempt to make …
Charlottesville Submits Bid to Host 2036 Summer Olympics
Today Jim Ryan announced in conjunction with @uvaupc that Charlottesville has submitted a bid to host the 2036 Olympics, with …
Around Grounds
clubs
UPC Turns Down Taylor Swift's Offer to Play Welcome Week: "We don't book female artists"
greek-life
Charlottesville Stores Suffer Black Puffer Jacket Shortage As Sorority Rush Begins
academics
It's Thursday: Reward Yourself for 2 Grueling Days of Class By Binge Drinking
sports
The Secret to Success? Virginia Basketball Undefeated When Tristan How Plays
cville
Fourth-Year Without Meal Plan Checks Out New Saxby's Just To Feel Something Again
